上帝的指紋

JEWISH TEACHING

Before a child is born,

God infuses that child with all of the knowledge and wisdom he or she needs in life.

Then God puts his finger to the child's lips and says,

"shh,"

making at that moment a secret pact between the child and God.

That's why everyone has that indentation on the upper lip.

It's God's fingerprint.

There's a saying, "we are born square and we die round."

"今晨的省思"

生命是一種磨練, 人來到世上時,

有許多的角,

有些尖銳, 有些粗礦, 有些拙造.

藉由日常生活的洗滌,

我失去了碐角,

成為出人意料的好, 令人驚訝, 滿意的新的形狀.

其實過日子真的很簡單:

相信上帝留下的指紋 - 賦予我與生具來的本能和智慧

而我真正所需要的是 - 時間

時間能淡化我的傷痛, 我的執著, 我的思念, 我的憧憬

當我不再堅持,當我看見的不再是自己,

而是顧念他人和整體的和諧時

我相信,

我真正的得到了

承諾

承諾是，

在忙碌的一天結束後，

另一半和孩子們終於睡了，

我知道，無論生活有多艱辛，

守在這裡，愛這個人與孩子們，

付諸我的心血，財力，勞力，

仍然是我必須堅持的，

因為這是

我能正視並真正成為自己的唯一選擇。

當我重新審視自己所做的決定，並堅信，

不管這決定帶給我們什麼傷痕，

這樣的生活仍是最好的，

藉由這般的堅持與信念，

我的生命

可以成為富足。

Rest in my heart

Lately, I have been asking the Lord to show me what it means to be "strong and courageous". Confrontations are most uncomfortable for most of us. Often times, I would much rather maintain the peace than confront with the issues head on. It exposes the "humanness" in all of us.

Here's something I read:

"The spirituality demanded at a time of tension in the church itself requires more than patience. 'Time changes nothing,' the proverb teaches. 'People do.' But while we work for change, we need a spirituality of conviction, honesty, awareness, endurance, and faith in the God whose time is not our time."

People seek for manifestations of power, success, victories, signs and wonders - power play. As we grow in Christ and life, we have allowed others' view of us to become who we are. Many times, we are and we feel damaged in the process. For me, I feel trapped and stifled. But it is in this predicament I start to understand and see who I am to become in His eyes. It is in that place, I am no longer a small child, but maturing to adulthood.

I am starting to understand what it means to be strong and courageous

being strong is rooted in being the beloved
being courageous is to name the evil we see and stand against it
how can I live this call in harmony?

There's not a quick fix to this. I sincerely believe this struggle is the full evidence that our relationship with the Lord is dynamic and alive. Our spiritual journey is not a step by step process but an ever-increasing depth and circularity. We learn the same lesson over and over again, each time - if we are lucky - understanding them differently, learning from them more, dealing with them better, till we find rest.

等待著的日子

我認真的在我生命每一刻

真實, 不作假的活著

當我站立在人群中

我努力以毫無保留的真誠為出發點來待人

我從來沒有渴望, 讓一個人了解我

從來不明白, 自己的想法是可以與人心有戚戚焉

不害怕赤裸裸的在你前面被欣賞, 被疼愛,

不害怕被你注視和觀察

你所看到的是我的心, 我內心的靈魂

看到我的羞澀, 我的軟弱, 我的不足, 我的破碎

謝謝的你願意, 與我攜手同行, 等待著我

原來被人愛的感覺, 是可以這般的自由自在

我心頭的小鳥, 自由的飛翔

人們常常說我是一個充滿愛心的人

其實你才是真正懂得關心他人的人

我像一個沒有紀律的逃兵, 重新學習

你從娃娃步開始教我

神藉由你讓我這傷痕累累的人得到醫治

有一天, 我必能邁開大步行走

我期許著,

依偎在你身邊的日子

與你散步, 談心, 吃早餐

我好珍惜, 我們所擁有的

為有的, 將有的一切

獻上全心的感恩

神所建造的

無人能拆毀

我耐心地等候著

等候神的時間

One Fine Afternoon

me and the kids to the beach today

our little "spring break"

孩子們興致高昂
一車子的歡樂
和風, 日麗, 逐浪, 浪逐
笑著, 鬧著, 水花
溼透了的衣褲

我的海

gelato, chocolate dipped strawberries, 85
"all out!" they cheered.
"thank you, mom!" they said.

滿載而歸
my cup runneth over

心滿意足的人

幸福

好喜歡每個早晨
孩子問我, "mom, what's there's to eat?"
我的小巨人們,不時說笑,不時吵鬧,穿梭於我的小小天堂
幸福就是擁有陪伴在忙碌身影旁的機會
會心的一笑,親切的問候,衷心的叮嚀
我, 沉醉於愛裡

賴床的省思

當一個人 能毫無後顧之憂
衣冠不整般的
無所世事 盡情浪費自己的時間
心中滿有柔和 平穩 踏實 和 一絲淘氣與調皮
那是叫人心羨的人生一大享受

虞美人 聽雨

少年聽雨歌樓上， 紅燭昏羅帳。
壯年聽雨客舟中， 江闊雲低斷雁叫西風。
而今聽雨僧廬下， 鬢已星星也。
悲歡離合總無情， 一任階前點滴到天明。

The Over-Scheduled Child - Avoiding the Hyper-Parenting Trap

This was a really good read. It resonates with me. I wonder why we, the parents, feel so "responsible" for the future of our children. We've been conditioned to feel "guilty" by not providing our children a competitive edge in the pursuit of success and happiness. As I read and reflect upon this ......

Could it be possible I felt short changed by my parents and circumstances in life? Could it be possible I need to own up to my own life and let go of certain negative feelings? Could this really be about FORGIVENESS and HEALING of the past?

I wonder .........


The following are excerpts of the book, echoing in my heart

"It says a lot about our priorities that many parents today put more energy into teaching children how to serve a tennis ball than how to serve humanity. They work harder at making sure children are skilled at public speaking than at teaching them to communicate openly and honestly with one another. Should our goal be preparing our kids to get into the college of their choice or to live the life of their choice?

In the end though, what makes a life meaningful grows out of the ability to build a productive and satisfying life, to have friends you feel close to, to forge a marriage and life with someone you cherish. It emerges from doing work that is meaningful to you and creating a family that you love and loves you back, even when things aren't going that well.

How will they (our children) learn that in relationships, the best path often takes time, patience, reflection, and holding your tongue until your anger dissipates, so you can see more clearly what you think and feel, what you should do to preserve a relationship that is really precious to you?

Children were expected to fit into their (parents') lives; they never expected to build their lives around their kids.

We all need to learn to accept the limits of what we can control. It is the only avenue to serenity.

We do not need to produce a perfect life for our children. The ability to defer gratification, at whatever developmental level is appropriate, is a sign of maturity. One of the greatest gifts we parents can give our children is the inner conviction that adversity can be survived and overcome. If we stand by their side, supporting them through the tough times, letting them know that we believe in our hearts that they can do it, they will often surprise us with what they can accomplish. Then the triumph becomes theirs, not ours. Perfectionism, in the guise of the promise that you, too, can have a perfect life, has a deceptively appealing face - and we buy into it as eagerly in our parenting practices as we do when we slather on our anti-aging face creams every morning. The marketers sell a single, shiny vision of American life: easy, happy, clean, convenient and above all, comfortable.

In virtually every aspect of contemporary American life, including parenting, happiness gets measured materially. We've allowed ourselves to become convinced that the right possessions will make us safe and happy. Whether we have the means to support it or not, we all feel entitled to live - and raise our families - in an affluent lifestyle. Just like our cars and computers, we want our children, indeed our entire lives to be shiny, new and state-of the-art. Living above our means and planning to earn enough in the future to afford the excess shapes our parenting. That holds true even if we are financially quite comfortable. As we search for fulfillment in possessions, homes, and ever-larger incomes, we are ignoring life's most precious and only irreplaceable commodity, time. Wanting happiness, always and everywhere, aspiring to see ourselves as good, benevolent parents, we commit our time, energy, and even a good portion of our identity to giving our children a luxurious ride through their already materially privileged lives.

Instead of trusting our instincts and accepting the obvious (that interactions between people will always be messy and at least occasionally frustrating), we look to books, TV, magazines, and the Internet for the quick, complete fix. They (the media and "experts") gives us a scripted vision of harmony that transcends friction - and usually a happy ending.

We need to learn to
trust who we really are, to enjoy the experience more by restoring our faith in our own loving instincts.
relax, to tune in to our intuition, to know our children and ourselves better.
contend with the fears we may feel that we might be destructive to our children.
wrestle with aspects of ourselves that we don't like.
accept some sadness about our disappointments in our own parents
and face the fact that we too will be less than perfect.
strike a balance between wholehearted involvement and standing back.
guide them, but also to give them room to make their lives their own, so they can stand on their own.

To grow into mentally healthy and happy adults, children need to learn, in the safe environment of a loving home, that reasonable amounts of pain and unhappiness can be endured. Pain should never be sought; inevitably it finds a way to us on its own horsepower. But children benefit by learning that good things can evolve from even the worst of experiences, not to mention the not-so-bad ones, like forgetting your homework.

We don't need to manufacture misery for our children; life will provide plenty. Nor do we need to shield them from every bit of it. First, it is impossible. Second, they're stronger than we think. We need to remember whose life it is after all and to let our children have the freedom they need to live their own and to learn from it.

To succeed, children need values, ethics, and a goal to shoot for; a vision of what we consider to be a good person, and the ambition to make something out of their lives, whatever they decide that something ought to be. They do not meed just a record that would look great on a college application.

Success is a drug in America, and many of us are hooked."